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  • Ready For Fall and Lillian's Diary Entry #4

Just So You Know

As I have written before, my husband and I sold our house and moved into an apartment. We are finally settled in but it has been quite an adjustment. One of the things I have to adjust to is not having a backyard, I have to walk my dog (Maltese/Poodle) at least three times a day. While this is surely healthy, it is also time consuming.

I am not where I should be with the Goodreads Reading Challenge because I just haven’t been reading as much. I’ve been spending more time with my Bible and I am knitting more. Finished a shawl and the first of my second pair of socks. My husband and I have been binge watching and enjoying Games of Thrones.

That being said, fall is coming and I am more than ready to get back to work reading and writing.


Lillian's Diary: May 1832

(The Vance Legacy begins in 1832 and Lillian is a slave. She is unable to read or write at this time. However, her diary is based on what she would have written if she had a diary and was able to read and write.)

It’s May already. Since David came home, the days seem to just fly by. Everyone is busy getting ready for this grand wedding David and Miss Beth have planned. My days are busy but at night I lie awake waiting for David to come to me, but he never does. These days he seems more interested in drinking himself into a stupor than spending time with me or Miss Beth.

She misses him too. I can see it in her eyes. She wears a smile but I can see the loneliness in her eyes. She probably thinks that he is with me when he doesn’t come to her. I sometimes want to tell her that he is drunk and passed out on the floor of the study. Her thinking that he is with me, only makes her hate me more. I don’t care. It ain’t her love I want.

Tonight, the slaves are all down in the quarter making the best of their little bit of time off. They are all enjoying Bell’s fried chicken and cornbread and Nan’s lemon cake. I can hear the banjo, the singing and laughter but I won’t go down there with the others. This might be the night that David finally decides to come to me and I want to be right here if he does. Besides, I can’t bear to look at Bell’s smug face or have her look at me like I am such a fool. No, no. I will just wait for David to come to me because I know he can’t stay away from me forever, even if he does marry Miss Beth.

If you ask me, she is the fool. She is gonna marry a man she already knows doesn't love her.

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